Somewhat ironically, taking advice from a divorce lawyer could prove to be useful in avoiding divorce. James Sexton is a divorce lawyer in the United States who operates out of New York who charges $750/hour. He himself has also been married and divorced previously, with an amicable co-parenting setup for his two children. His parents did not divorce and their marriage ended in death. People who are happily married have a overly rosy lens on marriage, and people who got divorced or who had parents who divorced tend to have an overly negative view on marriage. Consequently, his advice, like everyone’s, must be taken with a grain of salt and considered in the context of his own life, with a prior divorce.

-social media is an infidelity generating machine, and hurts the ability to maintain a relationship

-weaponized intimacy; using intimacy itself, whether emotional or physical, as a means of manipulating another person

-people who worship or destroy idolizers are both idolizers

-legal and religious definitions of marriage are not the same

-red pill raised questions on important topics

-self-esteem movement has led to people to be focused on the self

-marriage is an act of faith as you don’t know everything ahead of time; one doesn’t know if they will grow in the same way

-money is not a primary motivator to get divorced; it causes tension. High net worth people still get divorced

-marriages die because of disconnection

-love is both an emotion (quick) and action (sustained over time)

-people all out of love slowly then all at once (infidelity, divorce)

-stay constantly connected in a marriage

-woman view affairs as a soft spot to land on (monkey branching), men is for the sex primarily

-big tech companies have influenced marriage to go to divorce

-sex is the glue to a relationship

-the fact we are willing to cheat shows how deep our need for connection is

-marriage is like a lottery; you probably won’t win, but if you do, it’s worth it

-Toyota recalls cars with .001% of cars with an issue but the lowest rates of first-time marriages ending in divorce is low 40s % to 60%

-we should focus more on barriers to entry to marriage than worry about barriers to exit a marriage

-Catholics require someone to first speak to married couples before getting married

-the idea of a soulmate hurts marriage

-the later people get married, the more defined sense of self they have and the more difficult it is to unify with someone else. However, when people marry young, they are in a transition stage and don’t know who they are at

-marriage should be about wanting to stay, not out of reluctance

-prenups make it more likely to get divorced due to making it easier to get divorced

-if the only thing keeping you from getting divorced is the difficulty to getting divorced, then the marriage is in a bad place

-the most common complaint in a marriage from men is that women don’t have sex anymore; sex is very important to men

-be what you were to them when dating in marriage

-women who admire men is when a marriage is happy