Esther Perel is a world-famous psychotherapist and is considered a relationship expert. So much so that her practice in New York charges $500/hour for sessions with her focus mainly on relationships, therapy. Oprah even listed her as a Supersoul 100 list of visionaries and influential leaders.

Here are some of her thoughts on the changing landscape of people and relationships:
-a relationship slowly disintegrates when people pay less attention to each other
-a relationship ends when people give their all to their employer and none to their spouse
-the death of a relationship is when people take each other for granted
-70% of relationships end in the first year
-people now expect everything from marriage and work, things we got traditionally from other places like community and church.
-People are too selfish now and have high expectations
-the good relationships of today are better than in history, but are far fewer. There are far fewer model marriages than before; most people can point to 0-2 around them. Do new things together to spark passion
-people have less commitment than before as they exude that same pattern in other parts of life
-do you want a love partner or a life partner
-were you raised to value others first or yourself first
-if you are with someone who only points out your negatives and ignores your positives, then that is a bad relationship
-If you can only think of someone’s negatives and not any positives, then you view the other person in a negative light
-someone who uses the word disappointment a lot is constantly not having their expectations met
-65% of businesses that fail is due to bad cofounder relationships
-when you die, what are your top three lessons learned? 1- the quality of life you live is determined by the quality of your relationships. So spend time finding and developing those quality relationships. 2- when others mention you, make it so they smile, not think of you negatively. So, leave a positive impact on others
3- pursue your dreams
-be with those who bring out the best in you, not the stress in you
-women become much more bored with heterosexual monogamy and much sooner than men; men decreased slowly over time
-women are much less committed than men are
-a balance between stability and instability
-people now spend more time, energy, and effort in everything except for relationships, and particularly marriage
-monogamy only exists in reality, not memory or fantasy
-the family unit will now entirely change; people focus on the adults not the children
-people have now veered too far into individualism and are lacking in collectivism. Too self-centered
-see what you can bring to the table instead of always looking at others at what they can bring you
-do you and your partner want the same level of commitment in a relationship?
-career or motherhood first?